Your Sexual Kung Fu Is Strong, But It Is No Match For Doggy Style

by L. J. Williamson

"Hey baby, I just got a hot-sounding video. Want to watch it with me?"

"Sure, what's it called?"

"Sexual Kung Fu."

"Yum."

(Five minutes later...)

"She's not going to take any of her clothes off, is she."

"Maybe we should fast-forward."

"Maybe we should watch Kung Fu Fuck You."

"I can't believe I paid twenty-three bucks for this. Especially when I could have downloaded it legally for only $3.99."

"Yeah. I thought this video was going to be all about women who can fist each other with the power of their minds, or flip through the air naked, or rip out your heart and show it to you before they fuck you or something. But it's just about wiggling your hips and opening your heart."

"Booo-ring. Obvious, too. I don't wanna open my heart -- I just want her to open her legs, and show us how its done."

"You filthy fuck. What about your spiritual center? And the love of the universe?"

"Screw that. I want Karinna Kittles to show us her nipples!" I want Karinna Kittles to beg for my kibbles!

"With all of those ugly bald guys in the audience? Under that bad lighting?"

"Eecch, you're right. Let's watch some porn."