My Honest Thoughts

by heathervescent

What if you always told the truth? How would you life change? Well that's exactly what one Esquire writer did when he tried on Radical Honesty.

The movement was founded by a sixty-six-year-old Virginia-based psychotherapist named Brad Blanton. He says everybody would be happier if we just stopped lying. Tell the truth, all the time. This would be radical enough -- a world without fibs -- but Blanton goes further. He says we should toss out the filters between our brains and our mouths. If you think it, say it. Confess to your boss your secret plans to start your own company. If you're having fantasies about your wife's sister, Blanton says to tell your wife and tell her sister. It's the only path to authentic relationships. It's the only way to smash through modernity's soul-deadening alienation. Oversharing? No such thing.

I started out reading the article by recoiling in horror - how could he be so brazenly honest? I consider myself to be mostly honest, except when trying to play nice. Is it more important to be right than nice? Being honest isn't always nice and it often complicates things. But being honest makes you - well be honest. And with that honesty, comes a lot of good things, like communication and being real and a sigh of relief.

In fact, all my relationships can take a whole lot more truth than I expected. Consider this one: For years, I've had a chronic problem where I refer to my wife, Julie, by my sister's name, Beryl. I always catch myself midway through and pretend it didn't happen. I've never confessed to Julie. Why should I? It either means that I'm sexually attracted to my sister, which is not good. Or that I think of my wife as my sister, also not good.

But today, in the kitchen, when I have my standard mental sister-wife mix-up, I decide to tell Julie about it.

"That's strange," she says.

We talk about it. I feel unburdened, closer to my wife now that we share this quirky, slightly disturbing knowledge. I realize that by keeping it secret, I had given it way too much weight.

Honesty helps us grow and become better people. I'm not convinced people have the guts to be radically honest. But then, that's kind of a radical idea.

| 07/31/07 | Beliefs

Overall, I'm inclined to agree with the 'spirit" and intention of the article although "honesty" can open an entirely different "can of worms" depending upon how it is presented.

I'm an author that spends a great deal of time observing and explaining human behavior as I guest on talk radio shows around the country. One of the things I've noticed is that we've moved into an era of discovery with the advent of this new millenia that involves an openess in human interaction unlike any other time in recorded history (as evidenced by the recent surge of "reality" TV shows). I always tell my audiences to be careful with what they say or do because they will be "found out" (just ask any number of religious icons, politicians, or movie celebs).

Perhaps honesty coupled with diplomacy might be the "ultimate ticket" to help us survive these increasingly interesting times. Galen aka "The Ultimate Answer Guy".